What’s your asking-to-telling (A:T) ratio? Throughout normal discourse with others, how much time do you spend asking questions versus telling them what you know? The answer matters, and your relationships may be negatively affected if your A:T ratio is too low. Let’s dig a little deeper:

Why do we enjoy being asked questions?

1. It satiates our hunger to be seen as knowledgeable, as an authority on something.
2. It gives us an opportunity to help someone else, which all humans are hard-wired to do as tribal beings, whether we consciously feel it or not.
3. It engages our brain on a more dynamic plane than scrolling through social media feeds.

Why don’t we ask more questions?

1. Asking a question indicates that we don’t know something, and we may not be humble and/or courageous enough to expose this perceived “weakness” to anyone else.
2. Asking questions can make us feel self-conscious about our intellectual positioning to others around us. In reality, those that are most curious are often viewed as the most intelligent, especially emotionally.
3. We may not be engaged enough in our present moments to seize opportunities to learn more.

Questions are bridges to deeper relationships. Questions result in deeper thinking, analytically, emotionally, logically, and spiritually. Asking questions shows someone you care about what they are saying and being asked questions makes us feel cared about.

Be humble.
Be courageous.
Be curious.
Be engaged.

Ask more questions.